This morning I was asked why I do photography. Immediately I got a lump in my throat, it hurt to swallow. I was holding back tears. And I really didn’t want to make eye contact. So I jotted the question down in my planner. I know I’m a great photographer, but the truth is, I hide behind my why. Because I’m not just a photographer.
Sometimes I do it (hiding) to make other people comfortable- (false thinking) but I have now learned that if I don’t let my truth live, how will I be able to help anybody including myself.
The day after my long time boyfriend died, I shot a wedding.
I didn’t even think to cancel on them, even though it felt like my whole world have been cancelled!
I showed up and put on my game face and created some of my best work to that date.
Photographing people became my grief work.
It helped me focus on others love instead of my own sorrow.
When I wasn’t shooting, I was laying in bed sobbing. My love story had ended. Moving to a new state, clear across the country, becoming a wife to an amazing man, immediate step mom, co-parenting made it so easier to bury my why.
Until now! I spent 30 days sharing ways and processes to overcome FEAR on my instagram- and ironically I feared sharing my why...The fear is unfounded and it’s time you know, that my why is grounded is creating images that exist after you are gone.
The photos I take of you, they represent your legacy.
To be real and raw and perhaps morbid, it’s my grief work, it’s me keeping my loved ones alive, present and loved..
Isn’t that why we document things, and feel helpless without our phones bad camera?!
We’re all obsessed with remaining present and alive to the moments that shape us!
Photography has shaped me beyond my own power. I am a servant to the power of creation. I wouldn't have it any other way.
I see your love and family dynamic, and I’m honored to be trusted to document it.
If you found a passion by walking through your own wilderness, tell the world to watch out, because nothing is going to stop you! There is power in overcoming hardship and afflictions!